she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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