everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
