WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
