i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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