Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
