i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
