its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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