Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
