That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
