Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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