Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pants are for mortals
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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