Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
