my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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