well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
