If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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