my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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