rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
