I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
