I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
