like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
