I don't think brook has ever known best
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
