Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
