If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
