i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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