We're like a lot better than the average bears
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize