What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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