win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I look excited, but its just a facade.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
