Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
