this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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