does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
