Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Randomize
