: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My life is pants optional.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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