Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
