Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
