used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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