a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
