Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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