I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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