I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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