Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
