you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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