Can i not drive my cunt home
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
