Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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