SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
