you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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