oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
