I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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