I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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