So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
