VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He shit in the fireplace
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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